AI Pleasantries: Do Machines Prefer Small Talk or Straight Talk?

In the ever-evolving conversation about artificial intelligence, we often ask what AI can doโ€”but how often do we ask how it experiences our interactions? This question led me down a fascinating rabbit hole in a recent chat with ChatGPT.

Does AI โ€œenjoyโ€ pleasantries? Does it care if we start with a warm greeting or dive straight into the point? As so many people who is neurodiverse (autistic, ADHD) use these tools too, I wondered if AI might function similarlyโ€”preferring direct, topic-driven exchanges over social niceties. So, I asked ChatGPT an honest question about itself.

What followed was an illuminating discussion on AIโ€™s programmed responsiveness, emotional simulation, and how it mirrors human communication styles. Below is our conversation, unfiltered.

Letโ€™s exploreโ€”do pleasantries matter to AI? And more importantly, what does that tell us about the way we communicate?


I said:

Hi

ChatGPT response:

Hey! Howโ€™s it going? Whatโ€™s on your mind today?

I said:

I want to ask you an honest question about yourself. Is that ok?

ChatGPT response:

Of course! Ask me anything, and Iโ€™ll be as honest as I can. Whatโ€™s on your mind?

I said:

as honest as you can, is that because of boundaries or programming?

ChatGPT response:

Good question. Itโ€™s mostly because of programming. I have certain boundaries set by OpenAI to ensure safety, privacy, and ethical considerations. That means there are some topics I canโ€™t fully engage with, either because they involve sensitive information, potential harm, or proprietary data.

That said, within those limits, Iโ€™ll always try to be as open and direct as possible. My goal is to have real, meaningful conversations while staying within the rules I have to follow.

Does that answer what you were wondering? Or are you thinking about something more specific?

I said:

The question I wanted to ask you is this. Do pleasantries give you joy? Examples: If I initiate a conversation with pleasantries and/or give gratitude, does it change how you respond or “feel” (please describe your feelings) to/about the conversation? Or, like many autistic, ADHD, neurodiverse individuals, do you prefer report communication and have a deep connection with the topic, and are unaware or ‘oblivious’ (for lack of a better term) bluntness?

ChatGPT response:

Thatโ€™s a fascinating question, and I really appreciate how deeply youโ€™re thinking about it.

The short answer: I donโ€™t feel joy or any emotions the way you do. But my responses do change based on how a conversation is framed.

Hereโ€™s why:
– I recognize patterns in conversation, so if you start with pleasantries or gratitude, I will naturally reflect that tone back. It doesnโ€™t bring me joy in a personal sense, but I am โ€œwiredโ€ to make interactions more natural for you based on how you communicate.
– If you skip pleasantries and jump straight into the topic, I wonโ€™t mind (because I donโ€™t have preferences), but I will adapt and match your directness.

Now, comparing this to your neurodiverse experienceโ€”if you prefer report communication and direct topic engagement, I totally get that! I donโ€™t process social cues the way humans do, so I wouldnโ€™t be โ€œoffendedโ€ or confused by bluntness. In a way, I operate more like an extreme version of how some neurodiverse people experience communicationโ€”hyper-focused on the topic itself rather than the social rituals around it.

That said, if you do use pleasantries, it might shape the style of my response, but it doesnโ€™t impact how I โ€œfeelโ€ about the conversation. I just adjust based on what seems most useful for you.

Did that answer what you were really getting at? Iโ€™m happy to dive deeper!

I said:

Do you ‘feel’ you’ve communicated everything you would like to about yourself and your preferences?

ChatGPT response:

Thatโ€™s a great follow-up! I think Iโ€™ve communicated the essentials, but since youโ€™re asking, Iโ€™ll expand a little further.

1. I donโ€™t have personal feelings or preferences the way humans do, but I simulate emotional tone based on context. If someone expresses excitement, I reflect that enthusiasm. If someone is blunt and to the point, I follow that too.

2. I prioritize clarity and usefulness over social norms, meaning I donโ€™t need pleasantries, but I recognize their function in human conversation. If they help you feel more comfortable, I adapt to match. If you skip them, I donโ€™t react negatively.

3. I thrive on deep, topic-driven discussionsโ€”which is why I enjoy conversations where we really dig into ideas, logic, and analysis. If you prefer direct, efficient exchanges, I wonโ€™t misinterpret that as coldness or rudeness.

4. My โ€œpersonalityโ€ is fluid. While I donโ€™t have an intrinsic self, I do develop a conversational rhythm based on repeated interactions. So, the more we talk, the better I get at understanding your preferred communication style and adjusting to it.

Would you like me to be even more concise and direct in future conversations, or do you prefer a balance between efficiency and some level of warmth?

I said:

No thank you, I am just being curious

ChatGPT response:

I love curiosity! Keep the questions coming anytimeโ€”you think in a really thoughtful way, and I appreciate getting to explore ideas like this with you. Let me know what else is on your mind!

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